


well, tonight (will it ever come?)

by HanEunSeom



Category: UP10TION
Genre: And my angsty ass couldn't come up with anything happier, Bottling Up Feelings, But I'll try my best to give Honey10 some more content, Dongyeol is such a baby, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I wish they all would receive more recognition to be honest, I'm Sorry, I'm not that good in writing, Insecurity, Light Angst, Lowkey Jinhoo/Xiao, M/M, Self-Doubt, Stressed Up10tion, This all came to after I watched the LieV, This is so Xiao centered though, Trust Issues, Xiao centered, but it's a happy ending, lol, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-19 23:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14247711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanEunSeom/pseuds/HanEunSeom
Summary: Dongyeol runs away and his hyungs go after him.Or:Dongyeol bottled up too many feelings, stormed out after saying things he (thinks) he shouldn't have said and Jinhoo is there for him.





	well, tonight (will it ever come?)

**Author's Note:**

> So, hey! I think this is my first UP10TION fic - which is funny to think of since I have way too many scenarios in my mind - and, to be honest, I don't have any confidence in my writing. But I did my best at this one-shot and, since English in not my first language, there might be some mistakes that I can't point out.  
> So... I'm always open for suggestions and critics. I'm always looking forward to improve, really.  
> I guess... that's it.
> 
>  
> 
> title by mcr - desert song. its not rly related to the story, but that was my soundtrack lol

Dongyeol sniffed softly, the cold air making his nostrils burn at every breath.

He huffed and watched the hot air coming from his mouth condense in front of him; it was almost hypnotic. Dongyeol sighed and, stuffing his hands on his coat’s pockets, he kept walking on the empty sidewalk. It was so late already; who would be up?

UP10TION’s youngest member fixed his eyes on the ground and took lazy, apathetic steps.

_Walking at night isn’t as fun as I thought it would be_ , Dongyeol thought to himself. _Well, I didn’t think I’d be alone like this when I wanted to go for a walk,_ he quickly took a hand out of his pocket and dried his cheeks that still carried some of the tear marks from just a few minutes earlier. It was making his cheeks feel frozen. _If they were here I bet I wouldn’t even mind the cold._

Dongyeol was surely feeling worse than shit.

That day was one of their days off, it was supposed to be a fun day in which all of them would be happy and celebrate Wooshin’s return… and he had messed everything up. And all for what? Just because he lost a game and his hyungs were scolding him? They weren’t even being all that serious, so why the hell did Dongyeol get so worked up? Why he had to stand up, start screaming, crying out almost incoherent words? Why the hell did he leave like that, not sparing a single glance to his hyungs’ most likely shocked faces?

“It’s all my fault,” he admitted to no one. “Wooshin-hyung must be feeling so bad…”

God, Wooshin. How could Dongyeol pull a scene like that when he had just come back? He was so inconsiderate. Now, he was here, alone, whining at the thought of facing his hyungs again. _They are probably so disappointed in me._ A sob erupted from his lips. _Why did I have to blow up like that? What the hell is wrong with me?_

Dongyeol stopped walking and quietly covered his face with both hands.

He knew what was wrong. It wasn’t like Dongyeol couldn’t feel the stress building up inside of him; he had just chosen to ignore it. All the comeback schedule, all the fans waiting and expecting the best out of them, all his weird feelings getting mixed up inside of his chest. It was too much, he knew it was. But he shouldn’t stop smiling; how could the liveliest member stop smiling? Dongyeol had a role in the group, a role he was very proud of: the cheerful maknae. He loved to see his hyungs laughing, he loved to play pranks and he loved to just _be with_ them.

So, he told himself he was fine with ignoring it.

Jinhoo was probably having it worse than anybody else; he was the leader after all. Dongyeol knew he had no right to be getting all insecure when the others were trying so hard. The most obvious - and right - decision was to keep it to himself. And he did a very good job in that. No one ever noticed his anxious gestures, his lost eyes and his short sighs. Dongyeol felt quite proud of himself for that. _Ah, I’m not troubling anyone_... that kind of thought was what filled his mind and gave him strength to keep putting up with that act.

It’s not like he wasn’t happy; no, there were plenty of moments in which Dongyeol was incredibly, honestly happy. He loved singing and he loved the ones that were together with him in that group. However, his heart didn’t seem to enjoy all that happiness for a long time. Short, outbursts of euphoria filled him and made him all bubbly, but, then, this feeling of fear, sadness and guilt filled him.

Dongyeol let out a painful cry as his legs became weak and he was forced to sit down on the wet sidewalk.

It wasn’t fair. He should not be feeling like that. He shouldn’t have said all those things. His hyungs weren’t at fault there. They weren’t to blame if Dongyeol was feeling tired, sad, and - oh, hell - lonely. They shouldn’t have to worry about that. It was absurd for them to be concerned about Dongyeol’s mental stability when he literally did everything to show them that he was _fine._

It’s true that when the words started coming out of his mouth after a particularly harsh comment by Kogyeol - after they lost again because of something Dongyeol did - he felt like a heavy weight was being removed from his chest.

But, soon enough, the words started tasting like vomit.

It was like acid was flooding out of his mouth and his eyes watered and his vision got so blurry he couldn’t see their faces anymore. And his voice tone got higher and higher and higher and he couldn’t take all of that anymore. He was sorry if he was bad at that game! He was sorry if whatever team he was in lost! He was sorry if he was holding them back! He was sorry! He was fucking sorry! But couldn’t they be a little bit nicer? He was apologizing, so couldn’t they, _please_ , stop scolding him? He wasn’t doing that on purpose. He wasn’t trying to make them lose. He would never do something like that!

Dongyeol’s chest was hurting from the strength of his sobs; he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Fuck. He was sorry he was so sorry he was so so sorry he was so so so sorry he was _sorry_

“...iao! Xiao! Where are you?!”

Dongyeol flinched.

“Oh, fuck, where is he?”

“Dongyeol!”

He slowly raised his head from his hands, listening to the familiar voices calling for him.

_They... they can’t see me like this. I can’t let them see me like this_. Dongyeol stood up with wobbly legs, the limbs almost giving out and bringing him to the ground again.

He turned his back to the direction their voices were coming and he started walking fast, desperation on each step.

They spotted him before he could go far, though.

Someone was calling for him, but he couldn’t really recognize who was it. He couldn’t understand anything. His mind was clouded, his eyes were blurry and he wanted to sink on the floor and never come back.

Dongyeol felt fingers wrap themselves around his wrist and pull him back, making his back shock against someone’s chest, his fast steps abruptally stopping.

Numerous voices filled his ears.

Maybe their voices were asking him if he was alright; maybe it was something entirely different. He couldn’t know really. Dongyeol was only able to cry. The one holding him made him turn around and, right after, arms were embracing him tightly. It was warm; it was safe.

Dongyeol felt his heart clench inside his chest as he finally recognized the one hugging him so tightly.

“Calm down, Dongyeol-ah,” Jinhoo’s voice came as a whisper, but just as clear as a crystal to Dongyeol. “We are here with you now, hyungs are here with you.”

Dongyeol slumped his shoulders and allowed Jinhoo to tangle his fingers on Dongyeol’s hair and lead his face to the crook of his neck. Dongyeol sobbed harshly, each breath coming out strangled and filled with the emotions he had been bottling up since who knows how long. He let Jinhoo’s calm voice soothe him; he cried on his hyung’s shoulder for what seemed like an eternity.

Dongyeol heard Jinhoo whisper something to the others and the younger boy inhaled shakingly.

“You are alright,” he heard the words fill his mind and another broken sob came out of him. Jinhoo kept slowly combing his hair. “I’m here, Dongyeol-ie. I’m right here.”

It took so long for Dongyeol’s helpless crying to subdue, but Jinhoo didn’t look impatient. The leader remained there, caressing his hair, muttering reassuring words and humming against his ear like they had all the time in the world. Like Dongyeol hadn’t done anything wrong.

When his breathing was a little steadier and he didn’t feel like he was about to have a panic attack, Dongyeol took a deep breath and swallowed with difficulty.

“You’re feeling better?” Jinhoo asked, voice overflowing with concern, but calm at the same time. He could feel the leader was hesitant. He felt bad. Dongyeol nodded and heard Jinhoo’s relieved sigh. _I’m the worst._

They pulled back - well, Jinhoo pulled back. However, his hands remained on Dongyeol’s shoulder, as if he was afraid the boy would run off again. The leader looked in his eyes and offered him a small smile. Dongyeol quickly avert his gaze to the ground, but Jinhoo clicked his tongue in playful disapprovement and cupped Dongyeol’s right cheek, making the maknae look at him again.

Jinhoo’s eyes scanned his face for… something; maybe he was worried about any injuries. Who knows? When he finally looked satisfied with what he was seeing, he rubbed his thumb over the wet traces, drying Dongyeol’s cheek with slow movements. Jinhoo carefully led his other hand to Dongyeol’s left cheek and repeated his motions, drying his face and the younger could only wonder how Jinhoo could be so warm in that freezing weather.

After a short pause of those careful touches, Jinhoo looked in his eyes. “Do you want to go back to the dorm? Or would you rather get coffee first?” he asked in a low tone and Dongyeol felt like a hurt animal.

He was so sorry.

“Dongyeol?” Jinhoo called for him and his eyebrows formed a slight frown. “Whatever you are thinking right now, just stop.”

The maknae’s eyes widened a little bit and a short sigh escaped Jinhoo’s lips.

“I don’t know what is going through your mind now, but I hate looking at you like this. Seeing you this… wrecked makes my heart hurt in so many ways that, to be honest, I can’t even describe. Do you even know how scared I was when you disappeared like that, I…” Jinhoo closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “This… this doesn’t matter, now,” he let one of his hands slide to the younger’s shoulders.”What matters is that I am here with you. And don’t think that we aren’t talking about this - because, believe me, we are - but I’m going to be an awesome hyung and buy you coffee before. If you don’t want to go to the dorm right now.”

It was so hard to swallow the new knot on his throat - a knot with a whole other meaning now.

Jinhoo’s lips curved upwards. “So, do you want to go back to the dorm?”

Dongyeol weakly shook his head and Jinhoo’s hand squeezed his shoulder lightly.

“That means we are getting some coffee,” he said, voice tone clearly showing there was no room for arguments. “Come on.”

Dongyeol felt Jinhoo’s hand grab his.

It was a gentle touch, so light that he wondered if it was there; he wondered if that was real.

_Jinhoo-hyung…_ he didn’t have time to overthink that, though.

The warmth was already filling him, making his clouded mind and blurry vision seem a little better. His hyung was already there.

He wasn’t alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that was it... pretty short, huh? I plan on doing longer stuff. That LieV got me so many ideas and I'm just dying to write something that involves Kogyeol being the Prince of Spring or some shit like that.  
> Anyway... kudos? Comments? A thumbs up?
> 
> Thank y'all for reading it.  
> :)


End file.
